Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Reality with cystic fibrosis

Well I just got answers from my nurse in London. I went on Prednisone for a really bad outbreak of poison ivy. I have been on this for 7 days.The doctor did what he thought was best, but since he wasn't my regular family doctor ( I have a family doctor that I can never get in to see), I had visited a walk in clinic, he never thought to ask me if I had a cough, or had any other chest symptoms. Well I had no idea that if you have a brewing chest infection and go on Prednisone, it can do some damage and make things worse. This is the outcome at hand.The last few days I have been feeling run down. I thought it was just because I was working hard on the other house, the heat, the poison ivy outbreak, and the emotional ups and downs I have been experiencing because of this great opportunity with the Downy contest. My body was trying to tell me to sit down, shut up and listen. Well I woke up from a nap today, and I was listening. It literally felt like some animal was laying on my chest. I am coughing up sputum and I have a fever of 102 degrees. My body is slapping me in the side of the head with a brick! After a conversation with my wonderful nurse and my doctor, they are putting me on Cipro for 14 days. Cipro always makes me puke, so gravol will be my best buddy for a while. I am to slow down and do some bed rest she said, and up my chest therapy, my Ventolin, my symbicort, and if I am not showing signs of improvement by Friday I am to call her ASAP. So why am I writing about this. I am not venting, I am not bitching, I am not even angry. This is cf reality. This is our life. One day we are all smiles and full of piss and vinegar, and the next we feel like the victim of a hit and run. This is what I fear everyday with this disease. I can't cook dinner for my family, I can't hug them and squeeze them because it hurts my chest to do so, I can't be full of energy and be happy about the day they had, I can't be the MOM I WANT TO BE! And that is what is not fair about this disease. It is not that it slowly takes our breath away, its that it slowly takes our control away, and that is what is never fair about this disease!I feel cheated at times. I feel defeated. I feel sick. Cf reality sucks!